TAWWAKUL/TRUST IN ALLAAH COMPLETELY

BY SHAIKH ABDUL QADIR

ALGHUNYA LITALIBI TARIQ ALHAQQ

Concerning absolute trust in the Lord [tawakkul].

As for putting all one's trust in the Lord [tawakkul], the basic guidance on the subject is contained in His words (Almighty and Glorious is He) :

And when someone puts all his trust in Allah, He will be enough for him. (65:3)

--and in His words (Exalted is He) :

And put all your trust [in Allah], if you are indeed believers. (5:23)

According to a traditional report, transmitted on the authority of 'Abdu'llah ibn Mas'ud (may Allah be well pleased with him), Allah's Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) once said:

I saw the religious communities [umam] at the gathering place [mawsim], and I noticed that my Community [Ummati] filled both the plain and the mountainside, so I was astonished at their number and their condition. I was asked: "Are you well pleased?" "Yes," said I. Then I was told: "Together with these, seventy thousand will enter the Garden of Paradise without undergoing any reckoning. They do not play with fire. They do not look for bad omens. They do not practice subterfuge. They put all their trust in their Lord."

On hearing this, 'Ukasha ibn Mihsan al-Asadi stood up and said: "O Messenger of Allah, appeal to Allah that He may include me among them!" So Allah's Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: "O Allah, let him be included among them!" Then someone else jumped up and said: "Appeal to Allah that He may include me among them!" To this he responded (Allah bless him and give him peace) by saying: "'Ukasha has arrived there ahead of you!"

The real meaning [haqiqa] of absolute trust [tawakkul] is delegating all one's affairs to Allah (Almighty and Glorious is He), making a clean escape from the murky darkness and gloom of personal choice and self-management, and advancing to the arenas where the [divine] decrees [ahkam] and foreordainment [taqdir] are experienced directly.

The servant [of the Lord] must be convinced that there is no possibility of changing the allotment of destiny [qisma], which means that whatever has been allotted to him cannot pass him by, and that he can never obtain what has not been allotted to him. His heart will then become reconciled to this, and he will feel confident in relying on the promise [wa'd] of his Master [Mawla]. He will therefore receive from his Master [Mawla].

Putting one's trust in the Lord [tawakkul] is actually the first of three stages, namely: (1) the basic sense of trust [tawakkul], then (2) the act of surrender or resignation [taslim], and then (3) the act of delegation [tafwid]. The person who is at the stage of basic trust [al-mutawakkil] is one who feels confident in relying on the promise [wa'd] of his Lord. The person who is at the stage of surrender or resignation [sahib at-taslim] is one who is content to rely on His knowledge ['ilm]. The person who is at the stage of delegation [sahib at-tafwid] is one who is happy to accept His judgment [hukm].

There are many wise sayings on this subject, for instance:

"Trust is an initial stage [at-tawakkul bidaya], surrender or resignation is a middle stage [at-taslim wasat], and delegation is a final stage [at-tafwid nihaya]."

"Trust is the attribute of the believers [at-tawakkul sifat al-mu'minin], surrender or resignation is the attribute of the saints [at-taslim sifat al-awliya'], and delegation is the attribute of those who realize and affirm the Divine Oneness [at-tafwid sifat al-muwahhidin]."

"Trust is the attribute of the common folk [at-tawakkul sifat al-'awamm], surrender or resignation is the attribute of the elite [at-taslim sifat al-khawass], and delegation is the attribute of the elite of the elite [at-tafwid sifat khawass al-khawass]."

"Trust is the attribute of the Prophets [at-tawakkul sifat al-Anbiya'], surrender or resignation is the attribute of Abraham [at-taslim sifat Ibrahim], and delegation is the attribute of our own Prophet [Muhammad] [at-tafwid sifat Nabiyyi-na] (may the blessings of Allah be upon them all)."

The point of this last saying is that trust in the Lord [tawakkul], as a complete and perfect reality [haqiqa], was experienced by Abraham, the Bosom Friend of Allah [Ibrahim al-Khalil] (peace be upon him), at the moment when he said to Gabriel [Jabril] (peace be upon him) : "As for recognizing your existence, oh no!" This was because his personal identity [nafs] had vanished without leaving a trace behind, so that he saw nothing together with Allah (Exalted is He), other than Allah (Almighty and Glorious is He).

It was Sahl ibn 'Abdi'llah (may Allah the Exalted bestow His mercy upon him) who said:

"The first stage in absolute trust [tawakkul] is where the position of the servant between the hands of Allah (Almighty and Glorious is He) is just like that of the corpse between the hands of the ritual washer of the dead [ghasil], who turns the body this way and that, as he wishes, while it has no independent movement or control of its actions. Someone who puts all his trust [al-mutawakkil] in Allah (Glory be to Him and Exalted is He) is therefore in a state where he does not ask for anything, does not wish for anything, does not reject anything, and does not hold on to anything."

In the words of another wise saying:

"Trust in the Lord [tawakkul] is letting oneself go [istirsal]."

It was Hamdun [al-Qassar] (may Allah the Exalted bestow His mercy upon him) who said:

"It is holding fast [i'tisam] to Allah (Almighty and Glorious is He)."

Ibrahim al-Khawwas (may Allah the Exalted bestow His mercy upon him) had this to say on the subject:

"The real meaning [haqiqa] of absolute trust in the Lord [tawakkul] is the detachment of fear and hope from everything apart from Allah (Almighty and Glorious is He)."

In the words of another wise saying:

"Absolute trust in the Lord [tawakkul] is living one day at a time, and dispensing with concern about tomorrow."

It was Abu 'Ali ar-Rudhbari (may Allah the Exalted bestow His mercy upon him) who said:

"There are three stages in the development of absolute trust in the Lord [tawakkul], namely: (1) when he is granted a gift, the recipient is grateful, and when he is deprived, he is patient; (2) as far the servant [of the Lord] is concerned, to be deprived and to be granted a gift are one and the same; (3) deprivation combined with gratitude is what he likes best of all, because he is aware that this is Allah's preference (Exalted is He) on his behalf.

Ja'far al-Khuldi is reported as having said: "Ibrahim al-Khawwas (may Allah the Exalted bestow His mercy upon him) once said:

"'As I was traveling along the road to Mecca, I caught sight of a wild-looking figure, so I said to it: "Are you a jinn' or a human being?" It replied: "I am a jinn', of course," so I asked: "Where are you going?" The following conversation then took place between us:

"'"I am on my way to Mecca," said the jinni.

"'"What," said I, "with no provision for the journey, and without a camel to ride on?"

"'"Yes," said the jinni, "among our kind as well, there are those who travel on the basis of absolute trust in the Lord ['ala 't-tawakkul]."

"'"And what," I asked, "is absolute trust in the Lord [tawakkul] ?"

"'"It is receiving from Allah," the jinni told me.'"

Sahl [ibn 'Abdi'llah ibn Yunus at-Tustari] (may Allah the Exalted bestow His mercy upon him) once said:

"It is the conscious acknowledgment [ma'rifa] of the Provider of the sustenance of all creatures [Mu'ti arzaqi 'l-makhluqin]. No one is genuinely capable of absolute trust in the Lord [tawakkul], until the sky in his sight is like brass, and the earth is like iron, so that rain does not fall from the sky, and plants do not sprout from the earth, yet between these two, he is well aware that Allah will never forget to provide him with the sustenance He has guaranteed to him."

In the words of another wise saying:

"It means that you do not disobey Allah (Exalted is He) on account of your sustenance."

As a certain wise man put it:

"In order to have absolute trust in the Lord [tawakkul], it is sufficient that you seek for yourself no helper other than Allah (Exalted is He), for your sustenance no keeper other than Him, and for your conduct no witness other than Him."

It was al-Junaid (may Allah the Exalted bestow His mercy upon him) who said:

"Absolute trust [tawakkul] means that you devote yourself totally to your Lord, and that you turn your attention away from all those who are beneath him."

In the words of an-Nuri (may Allah the Exalted bestow His mercy upon him) :

"It means that you let your self-management become absorbed into His management [tadbir], and that you are perfectly satisfied with Allah as a Trustee [Wakil], as a Manager [Mudabbir] and as a Helper [Nasir]."

Allah Himself (Exalted is He) has told us:

And Allah is sufficient as a Trustee. (4:81)

In the words of another wise saying:

"Absolute trust [tawakkul] is the state in which the humble servant [al-'abd adh-dhalil] is utterly content with the All-Majestic Lord [ar-Rabb al-Jalil], just as the Bosom Friend [al-Khalil] was utterly content with the All-Majestic [al-Jalil], so much so that he took no notice of the attentive presence of Gabriel [Jabril] (peace be upon him)."

To quote yet another wise saying:

"It means abstaining from self-motivated activity, in complete reliance on the Creator [Khaliq] of the earth and the heavens."

Bahlul the Crazy One [al-Majnun] (may Allah the Exalted bestow His mercy upon him) was once asked: "When does the servant [of the Lord] become someone who is absolutely trustful [mutawakkil]?" To this he replied: "When he, as a person [bi'n-nafs], is a stranger among his fellow creatures, and when, in his inner feeling [bi'l-qalb], he is close to the Truth [al-Haqq]."

Someone asked Hatim al-Asamm ["the Deaf"] (may Allah the Exalted bestow His mercy upon him) : "On what basis have you developed this special condition of yours, this absolute trust in the Lord [tawakkul]?" To this he replied: "On four particular elements, namely: (1) I came to realize that my sustenance will not be consumed by anyone other than myself, so I should not be concerned about it; (2) I came to realize that my work will not be done by anyone other than myself, so I must be busy about it; (3) I came to realize that death may come suddenly and unexpectedly, so I must waste no time in order to forestall it; (4) I came to realize that I am in the sight of Allah (Exalted is He) in every condition and circumstance, so I must behave with due modesty under His gaze."

Abu Musa ad-Dabili (may Allah the Exalted bestow His mercy upon him) is reported as having said:

"I asked 'Abd ar-Rahman ibn Yahya about absolute trust in the Lord [tawakkul], so he told me: '[It means that] even if you were to stick your hand into the mouth of the great sea monster [tinnin], as far as the wrist, you would fear nothing other than Allah."

Abu Musa (may Allah the Exalted bestow His mercy upon him) went on to say:

"I then set out to visit Abu Yazid al-Bistami (may Allah the Exalted bestow His mercy upon him), in order to ask him about absolute trust in the Lord [tawakkul]. When I knocked on his door, he said to me: 'O Abu Musa, what did you find unsatisfactory in the answer you received from 'Abd ar-Rahman, that you should come and ask me the same question?' So I said: 'O my master, open the door!' But he said: 'If you were coming to see me as a regular visitor, I would open the door for you. Take your answer from the door!' So I turned away and left [with the answer, which was: 'Absolute trust in the Lord [tawakkul] means that] even if the serpent that is coiled around the Heavenly Throne ['Arsh] were to take an interest in you, you would fear nothing other than Allah.'"

Abu Musa (may Allah the Exalted bestow His mercy upon him) then continued:

"So I kept traveling until I came to [the city of] Dabil, where I took up residence for one whole year. Then I decided it was time to pay a visit, so I set out on the road to Abu Yazid [al-Bistami]. When I reached him, he said to me: 'Now you have come to see me as a regular visitor. Welcome to the visitor! Do come in!' So I stayed as his guest for a month, during which nothing ever occurred to me without his telling me all about it, before I had time to ask him. Then I said to him: 'O Abu Yazid, I now propose to take my leave, so I request you to provide me with a useful lesson.' To this he replied: 'The useful lesson provided by creatures is not a useful lesson!' So I understood this to be a useful lesson, and took my leave."

According to a report from Ibn Tawus al-Yamani (may Allah the Exalted bestow His mercy upon him), his father, Tawus (may Allah the Exalted bestow His mercy upon him), told him:

"An Arab nomad [A'rabi] once came [to Mecca] on a riding camel of his. He caused the beast to kneel down, and hobbled its feet with a cord. Then he raised his head toward the sky, and said: 'O Allah, this riding camel, as well as the load upon its back, is covered by Your insurance, until I return to reclaim it.' He then went off and entered the Sacred Mosque [al-Masjid al-Haram].

"Some time later, the Arab nomad returned from the Sacred Mosque [al-Masjid al-Haram]–to find that the riding camel had been taken away, together with the load on its back. So he raised his head toward the sky, and said: 'O Allah, nothing has been stolen from me, for nothing is ever stolen except from You.' "

Tawus went on to say:

"While we were in this situation together with the Arab nomad, we suddenly caught sight of a man descending from the peak of Mount Abu Qubais. He was leading the riding camel with his left hand, while his right hand, which had been cut off, was attached to a cord around his neck. When he eventually reached the Arab nomad, he said: 'Here, take your riding camel, along with the load on its back.'

"I asked the man about his condition, so he explained: 'On the peak of Abu Qubais, I was approached by a rider on a gray horse. "O thief," he said to me, "hold out your hand!" So I held it out, and he placed it on a slab of rock. Then he took another piece of rock and used it to amputate my hand, which he then tied to my neck. "Now go back down the mountain," he told me, "and return the riding camel, along with the load it carries, to the Arab nomad."'"

[The Caliph] 'Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be well pleased with him) is reported as having said: "Allah's Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) once said:

"'If you really and truly placed all your trust in Allah [law tawakkaltum 'ala 'llahi haqqa tawakkuli-hi], He would sustain you as He sustains the birds. They start the day with their bellies empty, and end it with their bellies full.'"

According to a traditional report, transmitted by Muhammad ibn Ka'b on the authority of Ibn 'Abbas (may Allah be well pleased with him and with his father), Allah's Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) also said:

If it would please someone to be the noblest of men, let him devote himself truly to Allah. And if it would please someone to be the richest of men, let him be more reliant on what is at the disposal of Allah, and less reliant on what is at his own disposal.

'Umar [ibn al-Khattab] (may Allah be well pleased with him) used to quote these two verses [of Arabic poetry] as an instructive example:

Go easy on yourself, for the outcome of all affairs is determined by God's decree.

If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from you it cannot flee.

Someone asked Yahya ibn Mu'adh [ar-Razi] (may Allah the Exalted bestow His mercy upon him) : "When does a man become someone who is absolutely trustful [mutawakkil]?" To this he replied: "When he is perfectly satisfied with Allah as a Trustee [Wakil]."

It was Bishr [al-Hafi] (may Allah the Exalted bestow His mercy upon him) who said:

"One of them may say: 'I have put all my trust in Allah [tawakkaltu 'ala 'llah],' although he is actually telling a lie. For, by Allah, if he had really put all his trust in Allah, he would be perfectly content with the way Allah treats him."

Abu Turab an-Nakhshabi (may Allah the Exalted bestow His mercy upon him) once said:

"Absolute trust in the Lord [tawakkul] means casting the physical body into servitude ['ubudiyya], attaching the inner feeling to the Divine Lordship [rububiyya], and having serene confidence in sufficiency [kifaya], so that one responds to receiving by giving thanks, and to deprivation by being patient."

It was Dhu 'n-Nun al-Misri [the Egyptian] (may Allah the Exalted bestow His mercy upon him) who said:

"Absolute trust in the Lord [tawakkul] means giving up self-management, and divesting oneself of any personal claim to power and strength."

Dhu 'n-Nun (may Allah the Exalted bestow His mercy upon him) also said, to a man who asked him about absolute trust in the Lord [tawakkul] :

"It means detaching oneself from worldly lords [arbab], and severing all attachment to material means [asbab]."

The questioner went on to say: "Tell me more," so he added:

"[It means] throwing the lower self [nafs] into servitude ['ubudiyya], and removing it from the position of lordship [rububiyya]."

He also said: "It means the cessation of ambitious designs [matami']."

As for the enterprising activity that is undertaken with the outer being [al-haraka bi'z-zahir]--which is a way of describing material acquisition [kasb] conducted in accordance with the Sunna --this is not incompatible with the absolute trust experienced by the inner feeling [tawakkul al-qalb], after the servant [of the Lord] has come to realize, within his inner feeling, that the power to decide is the prerogative of Allah (Almighty and Glorious is He). [There is no incompatibility between the two] because the location of absolute trust [tawakkul] is the inner feeling, and because it constitutes the actualization of faith [tahqiq al-iman]. To reject the validity of material acquisition [kasb] would be tantamount to rejecting the validity of the Sunna, and to reject the validity of absolute trust [tawakkul] would be tantamount to rejecting the validity of faith [iman].

If some difficulty is encountered in relation to the material means [asbab], it is due to the decree of Allah (Almighty and Glorious is He), and if something is found to be easy in that regard, it is due to His facilitation (Almighty and Glorious is He). The limbs and organs of the physical body, and all the external faculties [zawahir], must therefore be actively involved in the instrumental process [mutaharrika bi's-sabab], in compliance with the commandment of Allah (Almighty and Glorious is He), while the inner being [batin] remains calmly reliant on the promise of Allah (Almighty and Glorious is He).

Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be well pleased with him) is reported as having said:

"A man once rode into town on a fine she-camel of his, and he said: 'O Messenger of Allah, shall I just leave her unattended, and put my trust in the Lord [ada'u-ha wa atawakkalu]?' So the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) told him: 'Hobble her feet with a rope, and put your trust in the Lord [a'qil-ha wa tawakkal]!'"

In the words of one wise saying:

"He who puts all his trust in the Lord is like a baby. Just as the infant is not aware of having anything else to turn to, except its mother's breast, the completely trustful person [al-mutawakkil] feels himself guided in no other direction, except toward his Lord (Almighty and Glorious is He)."

In the words of another wise saying:

"Absolute trust in the Lord [tawakkul] means the banishment of doubts, and the delegation [tafwid] of one's concerns to the King of kings [Malik al-muluk]."

In the words of yet another wise saying:

"Absolute trust in the Lord [tawakkul] means relying with confidence on what is at the disposal of Allah (Almighty and Glorious is He), and expecting nothing at all from what is at the disposal of human beings."

This saying also deserves to be quoted:

"Absolute trust in the Lord [tawakkul] means emptying the innermost being [sirr] of any consideration one might give to the idea of resorting to litigation [taqadi] in the quest for sustenance."

* * * * * * *

CONVERTING TO ISLAAM

It's a beautiful spring evening, the wind is calm, the air is still, the smell of freshness consumes my nostrils as I hear the thoughts of my heart crying out for guidance and my mind pondering over my life walking through my neighborhood in Irvington, NJ. What will I do with the rest of my life, what is my purpose? Without any doubt, I know there’s a God and that heaven and hell are real; I don’t know why I know it, but I know it and when will I know how to get into heaven. Truly, I don’t want to go to hell.

Yet, I don't beleive all that I have experienced in religions, and Lord knows I've experienced my share, are the correct guidelines to worshipping God let alone getting into heaven. Now I wonder what, where and when will the correct religion be opened up to me. So, I began to make a supplication to my Lord, although I don’t know who He is I know He is, "Oh God please show me what is correct and which way I should go and remove me from this confusion I'm in". And, Allaah answers dua'a! I didn’t know that then, but its true.

The next day I traveled to downtown Newark, NJ and happened to be in the area where there were a lot of Muslims. I thought, this may be it and at the same moment I began to remember my past experiences with religions. First, Christianity from my Mother and her people, the Father, Son & Holy Ghost. I had great difficulty understanding this concept, even as a child, because I understood that Father and son were people so I also wondered who were these people we worshipped, why did we worship them and where were they located. The Holy Ghost did not fit because we always watched these TV shows that showed ghosts as transparencies that scared people. I could never figure a ghost to be holy after being taught they were frightening. I was confused and could never believe what my Mother wanted me to believe.

At the age of fourteen I decided to embrace this Christian religion on another level with the Penecostals, well I wanted to impress a boy. They taught me to sing and shout and praise God by saying Hallelujah. The music was loud, pounding in your chest, the people were emotional, crying, testifying and speaking words no one could understand; (speaking in tongues) all because the spirit moves you. Now all of this was fun because we traveled from state to state, city to city with this performance but no one ever explained why and who we were worshipping God in this manner other than the spirit moves you and sometimes they thought that Jesus was God.

Now, Jesus being God was not a concept I could conceive because while growing up Jesus was the son of God. Confused again and unable to believe this concept of worship, the fascination for the boy wore off so did the religion and I moved on.

Two years later at age sixteen, trying to figure out who I am and who I'm going to emulate, any body except Mom, I decided to go to the Temple Number 25 in Newark, NJ where the people went who were in “The Nation Of Islam”. I wanted to see what was all this hooplah Muhammad Ali was talking about. This man Elijah Muhammad, a black man, a Prophet with a religion only for black people and the proof that white people are devils. Oh! and that's not all he has a way for us to get back our land that was stolen from us along with a mule. Plus he's going to teach us "How To Eat To Live". I was enthralled with this concept and with due right. I'm black, I want my land back and my mule, I need to eat to live and my Mom hated the whole idea and she was able to prove that this was not a religion from God with the Bible. But, I needed something that did not emulate her even though she was right. By the way, I couldn't figure out the deal with the land and the mule anyway; I never had any land and/or a mule and if I got it back what would I do with it? I'm from the city, I don't know anything about land let alone a mule. I've never even seen a mule, but I'm going to check it out and I did.

Well, it all seemed good with women covering and having their own vanguard army, raising children, sewing, cooking and being respected by men. The men were soldiers, marrying, building a nation and protecting the women and children. Growing their own foods and raising animals along with owning businesses. Most importantly, we were all happy with the concept that the white man was the devil, we needed every reason to hate the white man. We were once his slaves, although none of us had ever even seen a slave, let alone been a slave. All this under the guise of 'Islam' i.e. "The Nation of Islam".

We had the Quraan and Allaah is our Lord. Then the rhetoric began with mixing the versus of the Bible with the versus of the Quraan and the pictures of Allaah. They depicted Allaah as a little white man, I mean little in stature and apparently he was seen only a little no one could verify where this man was. Now how could this little man be the God of the Universe, the universe is massive and he's so little, not to mention he's a white man. There's no way a white man could be the devil and our Lord at the same time. Well, they lost me with that.

Several years later successful administrative assistant working my way up the corporate ladder for one of the top law firms, I was introduced to Buddhism by a co-worker. Here, I go again, but I got to try, I need to find out how to really worship, get into heaven and be a good person.

Well, they teach you how to chant, to go inside yourself and find your inner strength to overcome that which seems to be hard for you. After the chanting, going inside yourself and reading passages from the handbook/prayer book the offering time came. It was incumbent upon you to leave a gift/sacrifice for the Buddha and he, Buddha is answering your chant through your chi and because of your offering.

The reason I say “the Buddha” is because the session of chanting can be done in a group, in someone's house, in the temple alone or in a group it did'nt matter because they had so many Buddhas. You could take it, Buddha, home with you, put it in your purse and/or leave it in your car. Buddha not only was many but he also had many sizes, from hand holding size to giant size that was tall as a building.

I really couldn't stay here, none of this was getting into my head especially when you had to leave a gift/sacrifice for Buddha; a decent piece of fruit, an exorbitant amount of cash and/or burn an incense for a statute who I knew could not get up and do anything with these gifts/sacrifices he’s a statute. I saw others leaving their gifts/sacrifices and as they did, I wondered who really was taking those gifts/sacrifices. Each night, when we returned the fruit, now rottened, was still there and the incense had burned out, but who, who took that money and those checks? Buddha, I don't think so.

Now, back in the area where I see all Muslims, the muslim ladies fully covered, some with veils on their faces and gloves on their hands and the men with their white thobes, short pants and beards, I decided to ask about Islaam. It was told to me that Islaam is to worship Allaah alone and to believe that Muhammad ibn Abdullaah (s.a.w.) is His slave and Last Messenger and to obey Allaah and Muhammad (s.a.w.), to pray, to fast, to give charity and to make the Pilgrimage/Hajj.

I said; "wow, how do I do that?" Take Shahaadahtain/Bear Witness to the Oneness of Allaah. I knew this was what I was looking for so I took Shahaadahtain and this time I got it right because Allaah answered that dua'a and guided me to His Perfect Religion, Islaam.

So, I took Shahaadahtain and here I am some 15 years later a Muslimah, striving to be a true believer, obeying Allaah and His Messenger (s.a.w.) to the best of my ability and I haven't regretted any of it.

May Allaah forgive me of my sins and bless me with Jannah and save me from Jahannum; AMEEN!!!

May Allaah continue me on the Straight Path; Ameen!!!

A WIFE

A Talk by Shaykh Abdullah Adhami

A WIFE

By getting married you are not just getting a wife, you are getting your whole world. From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.

She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you;

When you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for a moment she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.

The best description that I personally have ever read describing the closeness of the spouses to each other is the Qur'anic verse which says: "they are your garments and you are their garments" (Surah Al Baqarah 2:187). Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans. Just imagine a journey in the winter of Alaska without garments! Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort, protection, cover, and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would do in the Alaskan journey.

The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquillity that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable. The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is that: it is an act of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, "And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions) of your own nature ..." (Surah Al Nahl 16:72) Only our Almighty Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala in His Infinite Power, Boundless Mercy, and Great Wisdom can create and ingrain these amazing and blessed feelings in the hearts of the spouses. In fact Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is reminding those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Qur'an, "And among His signs is this,that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you maydwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect." (Surah Al Rum 30:21)

But Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala knows that the human heart is not a static entity, it is sometimes weak and at times dynamic. Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for. Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured.

Remember that our Prophet Muhammad Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam had found the time to go out to the desert and race with his wife Aisha. She out ran him but later after she had gained some weight, he out ran her.

Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing their folk dances. The show of emotions is necessary to keep the marital bond away from rusting and disintegrating.

Remember that you will be rewarded by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said "one would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife."

Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife's mouth, opening the car's door for her, etc. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her up to ride the camel.

Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will always result in having more peace at home.

Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam gave glad tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray together. The Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam even urged the spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up even by throwing cold water on his/her face.

Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds. Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion, spend quality time with her and always remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said "the best of you are those who are best to their wives."

Finally, it is common that spouses vow to love and honor their spouses until death do them part. I do believe that this vow is good or even great, but not enough! It is not enough that you love your wife. You have to love what she loves as well. Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones. Don't be like my colleague who was unhappy about his wife's parents coming to visit for few weeks. He candidly said to her "I don't like your parents." Naturally, she angrily looked at him straight in the eye and said " I don't like yours either"... Also, it is not enough that you love her until death do you part. Love should never end and we do believe there is life after death where those who did righteousness in this world will be joined by their spouses (Surah Al Zukhruf 43:70) and offsprings.

The best example in this regard is the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam whose love for Khadija, his wife of 25 years extended to include all those she loved and continued even after her death. It was many years after her death and he never forgot her and whenever a goat was slaughtered in his house he would send portions of it to Khadija's family and friends and whenever he felt that the visitor at the door might be Khadija's sister Hala, he would pray saying "O Allah let it be Hala."

HIJAAB, HAYAA

“Every religion has a quality characteristic of that religion, and the characteristic of Islam is modesty.” – Ibn Majah

How remarkable and astonishing it is that the way Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala created Islam, every detail in it has deeply rooted meanings, values, and effects. So much so, in fact, that each letter found in the Quran is a carefully placed treasure. If anything in it was even slightly altered, misplaced, or mispronounced, this completely changes the original meanings it was intended to have. The hasaanat for pronouncing each letter are also mighty because they are multiplied by ten.

Overall, nothing in Islam, even washing in between the toes during wudu, is insignificant. Some matters are simply more important than others, but everything revealed to us by our Lord is noteworthy. Subhan Allah.

In addition to this, Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala specifically chose for this blessed religion to be conveyed in Arabic because of the incredible richness the language carries, which is parallel to no other language. For instance, much can be expressed in the ancient Arabic language by a few words, but the quality of rhetoric never wanes. Arabic words have multiple meanings; they can quickly stir vehement emotions, draw vivid pictures for us to clearly visualize, and be strung together flawlessly like the beads of a necklace to create eloquent verses, all by the power and grace of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. Not to mention, each word in the Quran has been preserved for over 1400 years, and yet, everything in it is just as applicable today as it was in the past and will be in the future. After all, the religion of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala is meant for all of humankind, for all times.

With these things in mind, it would be committing a severe injustice to appreciate the letters, words, verses, rulings, and all the other blessings of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala only at face value. Doing so would be more ignorant than appreciating the human body by what only the eye can see, when there are a myriad of miraculous functions, designs, networks, and complexities found only inside the body. Similarly, beneath the surface of every letter, word, verse, and ruling in the Quran, Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has placed infinite priceless jewels waiting to be discovered. To unbury them, we are commanded to seek ilm (knowledge) and ponder over the creation of the heavens and the earth and all that is in between.

It comes as no surprise, then, that the commandment of hijab is meant to teach us a lot more than willingly throwing sheets over our bodies in front of non-mahram men – just like salah is supposed to teach us far more than the physical actions of salah, we learn humility and elimination of racism from it too, for example – if we grasp the spirit of it.

In addition to dressing modestly outdoors, hijab is also meant to teach women to fully honor the bodies they have been blessed with by embracing hayaa at all times, in front of every type of person, in all different situations.

Therefore, before anyone of us hijabis dares to point a finger criticizing the sister that doesn’t wear hijab properly, be it because of tight clothes, ostentation, glamorous abayas, hair showing, or whatever else the reason may be, let us thoroughly examine ourselves first. Have we seriously, truly, allowed hijab to teach us all it is meant to teach? Do we express genuine modesty not only outdoors, but in the presence of our fellow Muslimahs, siblings, parents, and husbands as well?

Islam does not define hayaa as embarrassment or humiliation a woman (or man) feels about herself. Rather, it perceives it as the care and concern she has about persevering her modesty at all times through dressing appropriately in front of all people.

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, I honestly cannot thank my Lord enough that hijab has actually taught me this. I have learned that hayaa is more close and beloved to me than my very own garments themselves. Although, of course, there is always room for improvement, I have certainly come a long way.

Even in front of people allowed to see me unveiled, I do not have the heart to wear immodest clothes. I can never wear pants that have some awkward saying displayed grossly on the rear end to emphasize the hips, or shirts that do similar to emphasize the chest, or low cut tops, excessively tight clothes, and the list goes on and on.

Truth be told, I also have an aversion towards lingerie for quite a few reasons. Although, as I have learned, it is mubah in and of itself, there is great haraam that engulfs it. The entire culture surrounding it – from the provocative display of near-naked models, to the inappropriate poses, to the messages sent out to woman about their bodies – is a culture that kills the very essence of hayaa. As I have learned, the righteous people of the past would have frowned upon and abstained from the various ways we attain sexual pleasure nowadays, particularly because in absolutely everything in our religion there is modesty. There is modesty in worship, talking, and even love. Hence, for a deeper and more conservative hayaa, just the mere thought of lingerie puts a foul taste in my mouth and gets me uncomfortable.

It has been revealed to us repeatedly in Islam that Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has honored the children of Adam alayhi assalam, so we should not lower ourselves. Alhamdulillah once again, I strive to never degrade myself by subjugating my body as a toy. I try to dress respectfully and elegantly, and further manifest these qualities through my conduct, as hijab has also taught me to do.

As a matter of fact, it would destroy me to lend a single penny supporting utterly immoral companies that go against the hayaa Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has placed in all His slaves’ fitrah, especially in females; companies that promote unbelievably tremendous fitnah, disrespect, and dishonor; companies that raise money and earn success by proliferating indecency and the overall devaluing of women and their bodies. The pious women of our Ummah, such as the wives (may Allah be pleased with them) of the Prophet salla Allahu alayhi wasallam, deeply cared for their hayaa and honor every minute of the day. Beneath the modest outer garments (or jilbabs) they wore outdoors, they wore very modest clothing, even when they were in the seclusion of their homes.

This does not mean they were unkempt, unconfident or uncaring about their appearance, especially in front of their husband, salla Allahu alayhi wasallam – far from it. These women spoke their opinions, were extremely knowledgeable, helped greatly in social affairs, and also beautified themselves (decently and indoors), and kept clean and presentable, as Islam urges all women to do within appropriate limits. At the same time, however, they understood far better than any of us that, although hijab is removable, hayaa is not, and they honored this enormous blessing of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala placed even more in His female slaves than His male ones.

These are the worthy women we must emulate.

Sisters, our hayaa is such a precious, delicate, and priceless gift from Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala that requires the utmost care and concern. To execute justice in receiving this invaluable gift, we really have to ponder over the additional lessons hijab is supposed to teach, and then apply them graciously to our lives, so we can unbury those jewels and increase our own value. Insha’Allah, in our efforts to dig deeper and change for the better, Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala will love us more, because He wants for us to reflect over His commandments and live our lives as nobly as possible. After all, we are the best nation ever created, so let us be deserving of this honorable title by exemplifying modesty in every aspect of our lives, just as the righteous women of the past, may Allah be pleased with them, did.